Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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