i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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