4 words: hood of his car
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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