Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
