Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
