My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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