this just has baby written all over it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
