i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
ok first of all what the fuck
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
