I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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