i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
