I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
did you just send me my own nude
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize