Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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