if only i could text you this smell
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
