There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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