Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
