he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
