Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
