I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
