Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
