But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
