He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
