every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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