dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
