perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
