I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
