How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
