Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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