When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Panties = found
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