Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
