Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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