every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Alive.
So much puke
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
