i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
