she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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