Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
