I think I died a long time ago.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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