He is an equal opportunity slut.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
