Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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