She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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