I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
