I'm drive I can fine osifer
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
