Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
