the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
