Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
