the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
