I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
