random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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