You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
