i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
