Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
