Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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