you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
