I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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