i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i've created a new STD.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
