I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have already put on my inside pants.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
