Four minutes until I can fart!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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