May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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